Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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