You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
