i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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