he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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