Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
