I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
