Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
