you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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