She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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