I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
