I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
