yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
