Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
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