She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
