guys are not supposed to queef...right?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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