I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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