So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i love accidental penises.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
