ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Randomize
