This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
