apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
