Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
