white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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