Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
