Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
her facebook's as public as her vagina
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
