think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
