well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
