at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
