That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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