The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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