What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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