it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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