Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I have fence marks all over my body
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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