Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It's blow job season.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
