So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
