in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
