If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
