well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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