hotel room ftw
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
