ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
