Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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