Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
