when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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