i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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