let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
