u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
