He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
