Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
