He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize