I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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