She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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