I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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