"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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