Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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