i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
