We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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