I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
