I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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