i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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